Saddness

Sadness....Weird thing to think of right now...Decent health, a little money in the bank, spouse has a job, kids are all well, a new grandchild on the way...fall is in the air, though today felt like a hot summer day, especially after unloading 600 pounds of horse feed, between the humidity the heat and the mosquito's, it didn't feel like fall. Ah, but that is Central Texas weather for you!

I suppose it is all the news that's on T.V. Iran is playing games with the world. I heard we were back to number one on the list of admired countries after falling to number 7 while Bush was president...they give Obama credit for that top billing, Whatever!!!

October, another birthday approached really quick...one year older. I'd like to say wiser, but that would be a lie! LOL Maybe it's the thought that the dollar is falling fast and I can't find the information to my annuity statement's, trying to see if I could turn some of that over to buying some gold...not that it will do any good, but maybe it will make me feel better, 25 years of savings not quite what it was back last year, but if the dollar tanks, all my paper money will be flushed down the toilet...hopefully teacher retirement will still be around....Anytime I think of money, I remember something about a passage in the Bible about money: "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle then for rich man..." or something like that...
Which brings into question my faith in God....where is it?

All this makes me think of my childhood and the nightmares I used to have.
I would dream that we were being invaded by Space Aliens and they had these space ships and they would fire on us with laser beams....my dreams were latter to look like Star Wars battles....and I was about 5 when I started having those dreams, maybe I was abducted by space aliens and saw that stuff, whatever it was it was always frightening and captivating to see....But then I also dreamed our little town was being invaded by a motorcycle gang....The imagination of a child!

I wish I were a praying person. Some folks are so disciplined about their prayer life...they get up and without even thinking about it, they pray from a book, read a Bible, or just speak to God...or people do it before they fall asleep...I remember my Dad, as he lay in bed before going to sleep he would pray, not a formal prayer, just a talk with God, thanking Him for the day, asking forgiveness for any sins, or faults that he might have committed that day, and always asking for forgiveness to past sins...there were times in my childhood that I felt that I was eaves dropping on something very personal...and I would cover my head with a pillow and try to think of other things....but the prayers of my Father were so heartfelt, with the sound of sorrow and great angst...latter on as an adult I found out what had bothered my Father those many years before and it always bothered me that it came at a time after he had passed away...I don't know what I would have done or said to him, but I am sure I would have hugged him more tightly and held his hand more often and told him how much I admired him and how grateful I was to have him for a Father....

Whatever is coming our way only God knows. All I can do is be prepared and ask God for strength and the ability to resist with bravery and faith and hope that with Him walking at my side, I will be alright...as I felt I would be OK. with my Dad holding my hand as we would walk the woods behind our home, and skipped the little creek that flowed near our home, he always made us feel protected and safe...if our father on earth can do that much, how much more will our Father in Heaven protect us?

God Bless AMERICA.