Saddness

Sadness....Weird thing to think of right now...Decent health, a little money in the bank, spouse has a job, kids are all well, a new grandchild on the way...fall is in the air, though today felt like a hot summer day, especially after unloading 600 pounds of horse feed, between the humidity the heat and the mosquito's, it didn't feel like fall. Ah, but that is Central Texas weather for you!

I suppose it is all the news that's on T.V. Iran is playing games with the world. I heard we were back to number one on the list of admired countries after falling to number 7 while Bush was president...they give Obama credit for that top billing, Whatever!!!

October, another birthday approached really quick...one year older. I'd like to say wiser, but that would be a lie! LOL Maybe it's the thought that the dollar is falling fast and I can't find the information to my annuity statement's, trying to see if I could turn some of that over to buying some gold...not that it will do any good, but maybe it will make me feel better, 25 years of savings not quite what it was back last year, but if the dollar tanks, all my paper money will be flushed down the toilet...hopefully teacher retirement will still be around....Anytime I think of money, I remember something about a passage in the Bible about money: "it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle then for rich man..." or something like that...
Which brings into question my faith in God....where is it?

All this makes me think of my childhood and the nightmares I used to have.
I would dream that we were being invaded by Space Aliens and they had these space ships and they would fire on us with laser beams....my dreams were latter to look like Star Wars battles....and I was about 5 when I started having those dreams, maybe I was abducted by space aliens and saw that stuff, whatever it was it was always frightening and captivating to see....But then I also dreamed our little town was being invaded by a motorcycle gang....The imagination of a child!

I wish I were a praying person. Some folks are so disciplined about their prayer life...they get up and without even thinking about it, they pray from a book, read a Bible, or just speak to God...or people do it before they fall asleep...I remember my Dad, as he lay in bed before going to sleep he would pray, not a formal prayer, just a talk with God, thanking Him for the day, asking forgiveness for any sins, or faults that he might have committed that day, and always asking for forgiveness to past sins...there were times in my childhood that I felt that I was eaves dropping on something very personal...and I would cover my head with a pillow and try to think of other things....but the prayers of my Father were so heartfelt, with the sound of sorrow and great angst...latter on as an adult I found out what had bothered my Father those many years before and it always bothered me that it came at a time after he had passed away...I don't know what I would have done or said to him, but I am sure I would have hugged him more tightly and held his hand more often and told him how much I admired him and how grateful I was to have him for a Father....

Whatever is coming our way only God knows. All I can do is be prepared and ask God for strength and the ability to resist with bravery and faith and hope that with Him walking at my side, I will be alright...as I felt I would be OK. with my Dad holding my hand as we would walk the woods behind our home, and skipped the little creek that flowed near our home, he always made us feel protected and safe...if our father on earth can do that much, how much more will our Father in Heaven protect us?

God Bless AMERICA.

Gosh, it's been a while! So much is going on in the world! Some evenings I wonder if there will be a tomorrow, and not so much that someone will nuked us, but more like, will I wake up to a free America?

The health care issue still is hot and not cooling down...For some unwarranted reasons the Democrats are really trying hard to jam this thing the collective throats of the American people.
Poll after poll says that Americans are happy with what they have, a few twicks are needed to make it better, but in the end, but don't want the government intruding into their most personal lives, their health. Obama, and the democrats aren't listening, they are full speed ahead.
A few bumps here and there, but they regain steam and plow ahead...You wonder what crude fell in their ears, which is keeping them from hearing the American people.

If by chance this Health care Bill is passed thru reconciliation, I worry that not only will it spiral the economy out of control, but that there will be a revolt...People are pretty upset!

I keep hearing that if we don't pass this bill, people are gonna die, the country is gonna go broke.
They also tell me that other countries spend less money per-person then the USA and that other countries have better health care then we do. But if they have better health care, why do they come here by the droves? Everyone has stats to show and tell, everyone has crunched the numbers on both sides. I googled the populations of the United States, Canada and England.
By far the U.S has more people then the other two countries. The U. S. spends $7,300 per person, per year. Nearly 2.5 times the average for developed countries which is $2,964.
The Canadians and the English like their health care better then the U.S. Though I think they never poll the right people. LOL!!!

I am not an economist, good God, I am lucky I can figure out my check book! But if you were asking me, and no one is. I would say that subtract all the waste, all the fraud, all the malpractice lawsuits, and you could wipe aways a few grands off that 7,300. If I were to sit and figure out where most of my money goes, besides bills, it would be eating out and Walmart, and the bookstore with an occasional shopping spree at the Lamp working sites or stores in the area.
That would save me big time dollars, especially on the dinning out.
We keep hearing about the waste and the fraud...and the government not being adapt at keeping both under control wants to manage the health care for 300+million people...Is there something wrong with this picture? That's like getting Acorn to manage the treasury, we'd have some major issues real soon if that happened!

The president lies, congress lies, everyone lies...You don't know who to believe....There are talking heads on the radio and on T.V. everyday, all giving you their spin. Whom do you believe.
Certainly not the politicians, and the m.s.m is not telling...they are the cheerleader for the administration and it is in their DNA to make this work for this guy, come hell or high water, damned be the people. Kind of sad I think, but who cares what I think, right?

It isn't even worth turning on the t.v. at night, or during the day, because it is the same thing.
Recently the History Channel has been running hours of "end of day" shows. It sure does seem like it, that we are getting close to the end. I myself don't really want it to happen. I'd like to live till I'm in my 80's...I'd like to do a little more traveling, a little more living. I am on my second year of retirement, and I'd like to see more of it. Not that I don't want to see Jesus come back to earth, that would be pretty cool, but I'd like to live life a little longer....Jesus has waited two thousand years, what's a few more years for him? I mean no disrespect against Jesus, but I guess I am selfish! Seems that blowing the world back to the stone age is not something I want to experience now ore ever...nor is being rounded up like some poor soul and killed for my religious beliefs! Heard about the coffins, the detention centers, the job wanted-ads for security personal? It is dam scary....I understand the world has been very bad and we are too meet our maker. Armageddon, always a scary thought!

So, as the month of Sept. comes to an end, we sit and wait for the ax to fall. Obama has made the run of the Media outlets....the same speech, the same game, gotta pass it now, gotta do it now, the country is going to go broke, the people are dying! Well, gee Mr. Obama, people have been dying since the beginning of time and the country has been broke since you took office, actually it is already broke, we are just living on printed money!

I love my country, I live in the best place in the world...I don't ever remember going hungry, even when we were kids and there was little money, somehow we always managed to get by and if it was a tortilla and a bowl of beans we ate. We rarely got sick and if we did, we first were taken to the local currandera and she made a tea or a potion to rub on our hurt, and if it couldn't be fixed, my parents would take us to the local doctor and he would give us a bottle of some horrible tasting medicine and my parents would make payments on the doctor visit. We weren't sick often, we pretty health kids, no broken bones, no tonsils, or worse afflicted us. Spouse likes to say it was because we drank lots of milk and our parents let us play in the dirt and we ran the neighborhood barefooted and wild, he neighbors looked out for us and we ate lots of beans, potatoes, eggs and tortillas....the food of the Gods!

Tomorrow is not guaranteed, never has been....but I do know that whatever happens, Americans will not go down without fighting.....They say that a giant has been awoken, and it is true, millions of people that have sat and watched the world pass their windows, have woken up and taken to the streets, the Internet, and have stated their opposition to big government, to govt. taking over....If you want to live free, be free as the fathers of this country intended this country to be, we have to speak up, we have to march, and maybe we even have to die for that freedom.

"Freedom isn't free," and it is for own good if we never forget that. I hope to wake up to a free America for many years...I hope that the nightmare that we have brought upon ourselves passes quickly, and that we never ever take our freedoms for granted or ever be fooled by the words of men who mean to do us harm..! It would be a real injustice for America to brought down from within, then by some foreign tyrant....I remember back in middle school reading something about that happening and thinking, 'no way', but it seems to be happening now....How can anyone who loves freedom, do this to this country? I guess I live in a bubble surrounded by people that think no one, not even an American would hurt this country, or hate this country, but I guess there are people that do hate this country and want to bring her down....

God bless this great nation and may He always embrace us with his loving arms.

What do you say when you wake up one morning and hear that the White House would like for
people to report anyone that disagrees with their Health Care Bill? Did I wake up in the right
country? Last night when I went to bed it was still OK to disagree with anyone in Washington.
So what happened between Monday night and Tuesday morning?

I am not a radical, nor a protester, I did attend the Tea Party at our County Court House, it was lively, passionate, and patriotic. No one abdicated the overthrow of the govt. or even the administration. It was a peaceful assembly, made up of American citizens worried about where their country is headed. Nothing wrong with that is there?

I listen to the MSM and I wonder who they base their information on when they report stories of the people protesting at congressional town hall meetings. I listen to the talking heads at the
White House and like the rest of Congress and Washington Elite, realize how out of touch they
are with the people of America.

When a President okays a "snitch" policy, you have to wonder what else is coming down the road? When did it become against the law to disagree with the policies of any administration.
The Democrats certainly made their voices heard with most of G. W.'s Policies. and now they
want to silence the conservatives, and it isn't just conservatives, Americans of all political persuasions are questioning the ever growing debt this administration is putting on the American Tax payer's back.... Health Care, one of the most basic rights that we have, a personal bond that we have with our doctor, almost more sacred then with a priest. The govt. wants to come and change it. We think it is for the worse, they think it is for the better, but who know best, I think we can all agree to say that we the people, each and every individual who values freedom, can make that decision on their own without the help of the govt....
I don't need the govt. to offer me counseling when I turn 65 on how to plan my death, and I don't need them to come back every year and remind me of how to die without incurring the govt. thousand or hundreds of thousand of dollars...it is my life, God gave me life, the govt. has no
business deciding what is best for me....

I worked in Special Education for many years, many of the kids that I worked with had so many medical needs that at any given moment they could die....they required expensive medical care, and expensive care to take care of them at home and at school...but who was I to say, that child must die because it is too expensive to take care of him...I have a granddaughter who will always function at the level of a 6 month old, who am I to say to her mother, "you should let her die"?
Who has that right, who has that power? The Government?

We have let the govt. do what they do now. We have given the power to control everything about our lives....the kids behave badly, let the govt. take care of it, criminals overtake our cities, let the govt. take care of it, banks fail, let the govt. take care of it, the neighbor doesn't' turn his music down, let the govt. take care of it....and now the govt. has acquired all this power and do we honestly think they are going to give it up without a fight? Of course not. Every election, we vote back the politicians that now want to take over our life's completely, or we don't vote at all...let the other guy vote, or my vote doesn't count, or who cares, they are going to'
do what they want....and they have because we have let them and now we sit and we scream with anger, we protest, we blog, we twitter, we scream out with voices loud and strong, and no one listens, the people that we elected into office year after year are no longer listening to us, they now move to their own pleasure or the pleasure of the interest group that has bought and paid for them, because we were to too busy, or didn't care to got spend that 5 or 10 minutes to cast one vote.

It isn't too late, America can still be saved but it will take everyone that care about freedom, everyone that loves America to put a stop to this growing monstrosity we call Washington. We
can attend those congressional meetings and ask the questions and hold our representatives accountable, but we must do it with respect and a quiet and forceful voice.... letting them answer our questions and not yelling them down, because in yelling them down we lose the power that we have....we become one of them.... We have the right to voice our opinions, and we have the right to oppose anything that we feel is bad for this country, the govt cannot silence dissent, or go after people that disagree with them, it they do then it is time we rise like the sleeping giant that we are and take back our country from the men that are wanting to turn it into a dictatorship....

We have so much to lose. Our freedoms are fragile and our country is at a crossroads, it is up to us to redirect it, back to what the founders envisioned, back to the founding principles in which this country was founded....which road do you want to take? Give me Liberty or give me Death.
I myself prefer Liberty!

The fourth of July is in a couple of days and as I drive out to our little ranch, we see all the Firework stands open for business. Our state has been in a draught for a while, so everything is dry, certain parts of the state have burn bans. But the fourth of July brings out the kid in us, fireworks, picnics, family and of course patriotism.

I live a few blocks from the downtown square of our little town, and as I stand on the street in front of my home, I can look west to the big flag that flies over the buildings. It is always a beautiful sight, especially when the wind is blowing gently and the flag waves slowly in the breeze, reminding me of the freedoms that we tend to take for granted. We have a quaint little square with a courthouse in the middle of the square, a confederate solider to the East of the square reminds us all of a tragic time in our history, but he stands tall as if too look out for all that pass by. There are benches on all four corners of the the courthouse yard and one can sit in the evenings and ponder the world as the sun sets and the square becomes alive with people that take their daily walks or people coming in to dine in the near by restaurants.

One of those wonderful things about being out of the country and returning is your first sight of a flag and this emotion swelling up in your heart that you realize your home, to America, to the best place in the world. My brother has lived in Australia for about 30 years and whenever he visits he has the same feelings, and it almost brings him to tears to get a sight of Old Glory!

America, the Land of the free and the brave. The Republic. I wonder as events unfold before me, as history is being written, as the America I grew up changes, what would the founding father say? I think they wouldn't be happy! Never have I ever felt this clamor of unrest, of the unknown. People are afraid, I am afraid.

My father came here in 1918 from Mexico, he escaped a revolution. My mother was born here and I and my siblings were born here. I have called Texas home for almost 58 years, and of course as a Texan, your not only proud of being an American, but your damn proud of saying I was born here, I was made here, I am a Texan!

There is so much happening in this country. Immigration is a big issue. I cannot say that I have not known discrimination, I can't say that I have felt singled out because of my race. The old woman who followed me around at the local department store for fear that I might steal something, to the teacher who would have rather we not be in her class, to the people that come up to me and speak to me in broken Spanish and then look at me as if I disrespected them for answering in English. But I always brush it off and think that there are less of them in this world then there are people that see me as an American, not a Mexican American, a Latina, a Chicana, or greaser, but see me as an American.

We are all bigoted in some way or another. Even the American born Mexicans especially my age and older who tend to look down at the immigrants. And it isn't because they are illegal, it is because we see them as people that come here, and still live in Mexico, they fly their flags, tell their kids not to speak English at home, and talk bad about America and the people here. My
husband works construction and he tells some of the illegal workers who say, we "gringos' are lazy and do not want to take the jobs they do. He tells them that it isn't that we wouldn't work those jobs, it is because we grew up with the goal of doing something better, our parents worked this jobs, and they wanted better things for us, to go to college, to become doctors, lawyers, engineers, not to work with a pick and shovel. Why would you want to be a laborer all your life and why would you want your children to be laborers all their life's when there is something better.

We live in two worlds here in this country, the people that come from Mexico and beyond and the people that have lived here for generations. Our parents kept our culture, our heritage, but they pushed us to be Americans first and Hispanics second, my fathers words were always, "finish high school, go to college, be something more then your parents" wonderful advice, and though I didn't get a degree and there is still time to work on that, the work ethic that our parents passed on to us we pass on to our kids, the goals of achieving more and being proud of your country, defending it in good times and bad times. My father in law moved his 10 kids to the outskirts of this town, because he didn't want them growing up in the barrio, he knew what could happen to them if they stayed. I guess it helped, they all contribute to this community, they all work hard, they don't stand in line for food stamps, or public assistance, when times are hard and jobs are scarce they hussle looking for work, and still lend a helping hand to the community.

We are Americans. I twitter and some of the post that I read talk about the disappearing White male, and with a bitter and almost hateful tone. I expect to see white hoods and cross burnings on my front yard. We can complain till the world ends, and we can use our minority status as an excuse for all the bad that happens to all of us. I try not to use it, it is hard. And I know many people that sit at home bitter about what life has tossed them, but in any society, life is a battle, life is hard, and the hardest step is getting up and facing the day with the attitude that today is going to be better then yesterday. No one steals from you unless your sleeping, your weak, or you don't protect your property. America the melting pot of the world. I had someone tell me that in a few generations red hair and blue eyes will be almost extinct, sad, because red hair and blue eyed people are some of the most beautiful people in the world, God chose them to be even extra special!

The world sits on the edge of extinction, America sits on the edge of destruction. For years we have sat at home during elections thinking "oh that doesn't effect me, those people have nothing to do with me, it's not important, why vote, it doesn't count....an endless list of reasons. And while we sat at home the politicians have stolen our country. While we sat at home, and decided, oh let the government take care of it, we have lost our freedoms. When our kids run wild, we say, let the schools take care of them, when crime hits our neighborhood we say oh, let the police take care of it, when the park gets trashed at night, we say oh let the city worker take care of it.
And today who is taking care of it the government and who gave them all this power, we did.
So today we fear the government, no longer does the government fear us. They sit on their ivory towers and pass laws that we really don't want, they want to control your health, they want to control what kind of insulation you put in your home, how you heat it, what car you drive, what food you eat, how you discipline your children and you wonder why?

America, the land of the free and the brave. Are we brave enough to stand up to this tyranny, are we free enough to shout to the four winds this is our Freedom, our Country, our Republic, we are the masters, not the government, not the president, we are the people, the people that Thomas Payne, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, fought a revolution for, we were given this country and we have squandered it away like the politicians squander our money. Time is short, and the hands on the clock move ever faster, do we sit and wait for the government to step on us and lead us to slaughter and you know they will. America, our home, the beckon on the mountain, with outstretched hands, the face of liberty, of freedom of justice. We are many, they are few, we are proud and offer no apologies, they are weak and offer slavery.
American, it means something still, though this government would say otherwise.

We have a chance to recoup what we are loosing, elections do count, our votes do count, our voices will be heard through out the land, you just gotta yell a little louder, and stand a little straighter. America's birthday, let it not be the last!

God Bless AMERICA and God bless all her citizens.

In listening to all the talk on TV about Washington, I have come to think of this whole process as a "novella" A soap opera. Mexican, South Americans have the best soap operas. They have a good guy/girl, and a bad guy/girl. And when I say bad, I mean bad, bad to the core, tittering on
the evil and evil at many times. Most of the time the bad person is given the chance to redeem themselves, most chose not too and end up in prison or dying a horrible death.
Like Politics, well maybe not like Politics, novellas have an ending. They generally run 6 months, some a bit more, but they always end.

In watching the MSM, I can often see the soap opera connection to politics. The MSM is the bad guy along with certain politicians. They craft, they plod, they plan, to destroy the good guy.
Lies, planting evidence, leaving out certain truths, bending the truth. And while they plot their evil, there is always the evil smirk, the menacing laugh! Yes, politics, the media, they have lots in common with novella's.

Novella's are addicting more so then your regular daytime soap opera. In Hispanic households throughout the world, everything stops. You cook dinner, you clean your kitchen and then you sit for an hour or two or three, depending on how hooked you are. Here in this market prime-time starts at 6 and for three hours we are the audience to three different novella's. Sometimes, these people become like family, you root for them, you cry with them, you throw your shoe at them. Life at home becomes an extension of the soap opera to some degree. You cannot understand why they don't figure out who the bad guy is, or that the drink they are about to drink, given by the brother who wants to take over the company is laced with either poison, or drugs. Yes even family is not to be trusted, just like in politics, not even your own party can you trust!

Example: A recent novella about a family with an evil wicked step mother. What makes this soap opera more interesting is that the evil step mother for years has portrayed the good girl, and this time around she is this despicable woman, who cheats on her husband with the spouse of her step daughter, at the same time plotting with an unknown face of an evil guy to bring down this family financially and physically. Politics....sometimes, I look at Olberman and think he would
make a good villain in a novella, and Chris Mathew the bumbling accomplice. Sarah Palin would be the good girl. Think about it, in real life, you would not believe that all they do, or say would really be happening in this country, you would tell someone, "your making this up, aren't you"?

Because as I watch the MSM I sit mouth wide open and awed at the comments from this men and the other "journalist" in the media. It amazes me to no end, and it makes me sick to my stomach at the same time. I wonder when they will just say "I hate Sarah Palin", or when they will have a "hate Sarah Palin show". Maybe have an audience who will take turns shooting darts or hell even a gun at a poster with a bulls eye of Sarah Palin. Why not, they detest her. You can see the bile creeping out of the corner of their mouths when they talk of Sarah Palin, or any Republican. Disgust, arrogance, hate. How sad, how very sad for this country.

The media, what can one say about the media, what good can one say about the media? Not much!

So, for the next three years the soap opera will continue, hopefully it won't be renewed, because in the well being of the American people, this novella has got to come to an end.

Friday
One of the things about being retired is that the days don't really matter, unless you have a doctors apps. or meeting someone for lunch, or maybe going away for the weekend.While most of the masses look forward to Friday's, I think of it as another day. I chuckle when I read posts on Myspace, Facebook and people's excitement at the thought of the end of the week and believe me I can relate to that excitement. For 3o something years I worked for a school district. So Friday's were well deserved! So were holidays, vacations, and summers if you weren't a year-round employee. This week has been a week of listening to news, not just watching the news. I have never ever in my life been too interested in Politics or what happens in the this country. Terrible to say and admit, but there's too many things when your raising kids, working, being a wife, taking care of a home to worry too much about the life in Washington or the politics there. The recent election propelled me into listening and monetary contributions, something that I had never even thought I would ever do. I have voted in Presidential elections in the past, and for a long time I was a registered Democrat. Until Ronald Reagan ran for President and that was because I was taking a govt. class at the local community college and we were assigned to see what Ronald Reagan's politics were all about. I liked what I read, what I learned about him and voted for him, of course this was what I now called a "Republican closet vote" being Hispanic, you did not vote Republican and if you did you better have a good defense for it. I have come a long way since. I am not a straight ticket voter, I don't believe in giving power to one side, we have a good example of why not. Both parties have failed us miserably and as we go into the future with more debt then I can possible imagine I am wondering what do I do with my political stances? So, Friday finds me listening again to the political pundits give their spin to what Obama, congress and Washington are doing. It's pretty scary when you think about it, but I think most people haven't really thought about it! Friday can be thought of as the end of the week, for me it is the beginning of a new journey that will make me a better citizen, no longer apathetic or uniformed. I look forward to more writing and telling of my journey, not for anyone to really be interested in what I do, but for myself, so that in 6 months or a year from now, I can look back and see what I have learned, what I have done to be a better citizen. Good Friday, a good weekend and Happy Mothers Day to all!